Art Imitates Life: Art Returns To Take Predictions For 2009

Art is one of a kind, and I miss him every time he signs off. That, of course, is about once a year. Unfortunately, we never get anything close to his level from Noory. Art is definitely more of a savvy, street-wise wit compared to his successor.

Tonight he is returning to Coast-To-Coast to take caller predictions for 2009, and to review last year's. I love the way Art doesn't screen his calls. You have to be patient with the "flow" of the show, as you're going to hear a lot of this:
ART: Hello...
CALLER: Uh, yeah, I wanna talk to Art, please.
ART: You've got him, sir, please turn down your radio.

It's always a fun ride with Art, though. His skeptic, right-of-center, no-nonsense delivery sounds like any uncle we all have in our family.

When The Laughter Begins To Turn

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Rod Blagojevich Is a Jagoff

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

So Long, Alan

This clip is fascinating by itself, as it confirms every encounter I've had with not only Obama supporters, but also with liberals for the past 20 years. But besides that, it was significant to watch the performance after learning a few days ago that Alan would be exiting Hannity And Colmes in a month or so.

I am not looking at Alan from only his television incarnation of the past 12 years, but from his earlier days of radio syndication from 20 years ago. He is and was a sharp wit on the air, which helped him keep the pacing going throughout his show. "Good radio" we would say.

I remember his usage of a show-ender segment called "radio graffiti", where the call bank was dumped, line by line, with each caller getting only 5 seconds to make their statement, their 'graffiti on the walls', so to speak. That was 20 years ago. In fact, Sean encorporated the same bit in his radio show only after it had been made famous by Alan many years before.

I am a fan of Alan Colmes from a radio professional's perspective, and that includes his punchy, off-putting questions used when he didn't have anything else along the idea of substance and logic to draw from. It worked on radio, because he could always rely on a caller when his own bank was dry, then rail on something else in an incendiary manner. Great radio.

But as we can see, Alan, without his radio props, often comes off as mean-spirited, vengeful, and devoid of substantive questions.

As Alan performs, here, it is obvious that his style wouldn't allow him to take a more holistic angle from which to question Zeigler, but instead goes immediately to the reactionary response of, "Well, so are you", and then "You're calling us bad names". Alan has to make his 2 minutes with the subject, Zeigler, seem a breathless flurry of attacks from what is really fluff.

Sad waste of anything, like, for instance, what a calm, reasoned, more clinical conversation might have allowed. Instead, we are treated to the mud-slinging it usually reduces to, adding nothing to the conversation from the left, other than the sentiment, "You called us stupid".

This is usually the same flacid, inconsequential argument most things of depth and substance break down to when dealing with liberals. Alan just happened to be a little more entertaining about it.

Phil Hears A Different Voice

If you've been a fan of the genius of Phil Hendrie as I have, you know that there is a BIG difference between the Phil of old, vs the Phil of new. It is almost too depressing to get into a recital of all of the things that are different now in Phil's show than what he used to deliver to us, but let me highlight one of them: Phil now is way too angry.

He has been preaching to us for a year, now, about how we needed to look the other way concerning Obama's past associations, how it is time for a new age of American politics, blah, blah, blah. It seemed that he forgot COMPLETELY about the magic talent that convinced legions of us to follow this man to the ends of the dial.

I remember listening to Phil from KFI over the internet in 1998. I had a radio buddy who also loved the Mad Hatter, and I went to the extra trouble to construct a crude recording mechanism for capturing the daily stream of radio comedy: I would use my hand-held voice recorder, sitting in front of my bulky computer speakers, to record this man's brilliance.

This, of course, was before the advent of archived radio shows on third-party servers, or the RIAA's lawsuit, forcing all radio stations to halt their online radio streaming, for fear of being sued by the artist's union for not compensating their voice actors for the increased audiences to which their voices were being broadcast.

Alas, nowadays, one has to patiently put up with DAYS of monologue, diatribe, and preaching to find just one jewel of aural ecstasy from the man. I know, because I catch the feed straight from Talk Radio Network nightly.

It is sad.

It really makes a man clutch his old recordings of Phil in a new way. Snivelling, almost whimpering, I treat these decades-old wav files of Phil as if they were The Arc Of The Covenant. It seems like a different world since Obama got elected last week...and Phil didn't come back.

He has kept up his anger and his preaching, despite getting exactly what he wanted: Obama's election. Like a little child who puts up with a raging father day in and day out, waiting endlessly for the time when ol' Pop will get too drunk to continue his terror, then pass out...I was waiting on Phil.

Hell, I wanted the election over a LONG time before now, but not only out of exhaustion of the mainstream media's fawning over Barry, but because Phil's show was being COMPLETELY monopolized by the issue. I, mistakenly, was thinking that the Old Phil would return to the airwaves after he got what he wanted.

This was not to be so. Dammit.

Without an election to rail about, Phil seems to be fumbling around to find something, anything, to rage about. Now that the air is free of political conflict in a big way, he seems to be hunting in deeper recesses of society for something to remain angry about. Is it the increasing joblessness our nation is facing? No. How about the stock market? No.

Phil is now filling much of his air time each night with: Dr Dobson, of Focus On The Family. See, Phil is a practicing Catholic who hates preachers. He tries to convince the listener that his criticisms of Dobson are bona fide because he attends mass regularly, and therefore tells you and I what the real truth is.

This is all about homosexuality and how Prop 8 failed in California last week. Like the many protestors who pelted the Westwood Mormon churchgoers with epithets and hatred, Phil needs a target to focus his anger on. It isn't the African American or the Latino communities, but it should be. They were the two voting blocs who were largely responsible for passing Prop 8.

Nope, instead, it is a gentle old soul who tries to help those of us who may need a little guidance in life. And not just the kind of guidance suggested by those advocates in the streets, or even Phil himself. Just what else of substance is there to absorb, if not meaningful life lessons from those dedicated to the cloth? Desperate Housewives? American Idol? Howard Stern?

I'm sorry, but the philosophy coming from 99% of the airwaves, be it tv, radio, or even the internet, is vapid and moronic. So many churches have become nothing more than businesses, also. Finding something that speaks to the better angels in us is rare, these days, without being attached to money. Why pick on a radio speaker who is loved by millions, asks nothing of you and I in the way of monthly subscriptions, and speaks from a deep well of care and thoughtfulness?

Well, last night, in day 3 of Phil's [boring] rant against Dr Dobson's induction into the Radio Hall Of Fame, an African American man called in to offer Phil a little insight. Up until now, Phil had been assaulting Dr Dobson for quotes on family instruction that came from the Daily Kos, which obviously hates things like Focus On The Family.

The interaction went something like this:
CALLER: You know, Phil, I've listened to Dr Dobson for 20 years, and if anyone ever got on his program and said that they hated homosexuals, he wouldn't have anything to do with them, and would condemn that kind of thinking immediately.

PHIL: Well...

CALLER: I mean, you don't have to HATE homosexuals to be against Prop 8. Dr Dobson has NEVER said that we should hate anyone, much less homosexuals.

From there, the conversation stuttered along, with Phil trying to pin some specific advice he found "weird" (allowing a young son to shower with dad once to see the male genitalia), on Dr Dobson, which this lifelong listener of Dobson had NEVER heard. It just fizzled out, bringing to the forefront how vacant this presentation of Phil's is these days.

Imus Hosts, Beschloss Faints Over Obama

OR "Barack Obama" OR "Barack Hussein Obama" OR "Senator Barack Obama" OR "Senator Obama" Imus In The Morning, 96.9 WTKK, Boston - Imus in the Morning guest: Michael Beschloss 11/10/08

The way reporters, editors, and columnists have rolled out the red carpet for Obama is already sickening, but how about historians? Aren't they supposed to remain too academic to reveal obvious bias? After all, who could trust their assessment of any president, administration, or history of a people in general?

The way Michael Beschloss goes on here, on Imus' morning radio show, is embarrassing. This man of facts exudes unequivacally that Obama has the highest IQ out of ALL other presidents, etc, etc, yet when Imus asks what it is, Beschloss laughably comes up dry, making a caricature of himself.

George, George, George...

Can you just admit it when you don't know something? Please?

I mean, when I'm listening to you tell us that shadow people exist, that the world is ending soon, and that there's a deep hole in the West somewhere that leaves only gristle and bones when you lower a sheep down into it...I need to feel that you are a truthful person.

The other night this week, a caller was discussing something important to George Noory, like the wonders of a flute-playing robot from Japan (or was it another Bigfoot siting?), when the caller asked George if he ever watched the "Venture Brothers". George stopped for a second, then caught himself with what sounded like a confident, clear, memory of watching the Venture Brothers sometime in the past.

"Yes, yes, I remember watching them. The two cartoon boys from Mike Judge." And he sounded SOOOO certain, and so authoritative, kind of like he does when discussing ALL of the paranormal, metaphysical things he does. Almost smug, in fact.

Well, I'm sorry, George. This time, the Worker In The Light is actually in the dark. The Venture Brothers is a masterpiece of comedy animation that shouldn't be confused with anything else.

Perhaps your age is catching up with you, George, I don't know.

Normally I would cut him some slack, as I know what it's like to run an air shift for 5 hours, always being "on", and sometimes getting a fact wrong in the mix. But this kind of "space cadet" moment of George's seems to be occuring more often, these days. Almost as if he's being distracted by something.

I've heard him tease the audience with the possibility of running for office soon. Is he suddenly placing the Coast To Coast project on the back burner, as he prepares to launch his political career?

Beware of the Larry King syndrome, George: sticking around too long past your time.

Might we see a new host of the weekly C2C emerge soon? I like Ian Punnet, as he seems more modern and content than George. But I also like George Knapp, who hosted last night's show (Sunday into Monday, Jan 19, 2009). Knapp comes across as a somewhat monotone yet engaging speaker.

So Long, Marty; You Left just In Time

If you listen to Hannity's show, you undoubtedly know about Marty. He is a cherished memeber of Sean's audience, and to his credit, Hannity always stops the show's flow to take a call from Marty when he calls in. Marty passed this past week, just before Tuesday's election.

Marty is a WWII veteran who stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day. He lived a great life since that tragic day, and like my grandfather, also a WWII-era Army infantry veteran who passed a year ago, I am very inspired and happy that men such as them were able to live full lives after doing for us what they did.